this blog's for you lori fey

you had mentioned sunday that you wish you could have the english is an odd language stuff in writing. here it is.


let's face it. english is an odd language.

there is no egg in eggplant,
no ham in hamburger,
and neither pine nor apple in pineapple.

english muffins aren't muffins at all and weren't even invented in england.
guinnea pigs aren't from guinnea...and they're not even pigs.

if writers write, how come fingers don't fing?
if the teacher taught, did the preacher praught?
and if the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth?

and there's more!

if vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
why do people recite at a play yet play at a recital?
how come we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
send something by car and it's a shipment, but send it by ship and it's cargo?
and have noses that run and feet that smell?

how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same thing?
how can the weather be hot as hell on one day and cold as hell on another?

ever notice we talk about things only when they're absent? think about it.
have you ever seen a horseful carriage? or a strapful gown?
ever met a sung hero? or experienced requited love?
have you ever run into somebody who was combobulated? ruly? or just plain gruntled?
and where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who WOULD hurt a fly?

you have to laugh at the unique lunacy of a language where a house burns up as it burns down.
in which you fill in a form by filling it out.
and an alarm is on only when it goes off.

well, english was invented by people, not computers. and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which of course, isn't a race at all).

that is why when the stars are out, they are visible,
but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
and when i wind up my watch, it starts,
but when i wind up this poem, it ends.


there you go. now you can read it at your own pace. ;)

it is such a nice day. and yesterday was also such a nice day. i wish everyone could get together and we'd go sailing. yeah! have a swell day. cheers . . ..