remembering when

memories are such good things for us. they serve many a purpose. one of those purposes, is to give us comfort. when we look back, we can see times that were so fun, when we were so happy, when there wasn't a care in the world and life seemed worry-free. often, when thinking of these things there is a smile put on our faces. our hearts are warmed. perhaps we will even cry then. oh the beauty of memories! we can be transported away from the present for a bit. away from whatever it is that is there. whoever said time travel is impossible is a fool. for i can go back and stand there, having such joy in my heart, watching myself ride a bike for the very first time. i even laugh to myself and say, "you big dummy. why are you doing this barefoot?" then i see myself crash on the curb and literally tear my toe off. man! what a great summer day that was! so warm. so endless. so free. i cry too, as i see myself crying while running to my mother for help. ha ha! i love it. it's so good!

i bring up the subject of memories, and going back, because today i am remembering a wonderful time in my life and am going back to it. though it is snowing outside and the wind is blowing, i am sitting at a table, on a balcony, in a castle in germany. don't ask me to say the name of the castle, for i don't remember it. honestly, it seems of little importance to me. as i sit, i look down off the balcony and can see the river rhine below. it's quite a ways down there! between myself and this wonderful water passage is lush vegetation. so many shrubs and bushes and trees! i can vaguely make out the criss-cross, back and forth path starting at the bottom of this enormous hill leading up to the castle. i then look out along the castle itself, past the castle, to the valley beyond. oh the green! have you ever seen such green? there were many vineyards on the steep slopes on the other side. any moving thing over there looked like an ant. as i scanned the entire valley i saw pathways, little buildings, people, animals, greens, browns... i had so much joy and amazement in my heart, that it overflowed. oh lord, how amazing is your creation! what beauty you reveal to me! how beautiful you are! i look up and i see the sun hovering only slightly above the hills in the east. i look down at my arms as i feel the the sun's warmth enter my skin. i exhale. i become still. it's only 7:30 in the morning. i'm in this wonderful castle full of architecture, art, and wonder. i'm eating a pastry and drinking some of the greatest white wine i've ever had the pleasure of tasting. this memory is pretty amazing for me. i didn't know or understand god then, but now i do. i can look back and see him, though at the time, i didn't see him. so now, the memory is even more amazing. i wish everyone i know could see and feel just a percent of what is in my heart right now! how could they not be brought to their knees and say, "wow!" and be still and just let it hit them? there's so much joy and wonder and amazement that i wish for everyone to experience it.

i've gotten off track. but if you know me, then you know that's something that occcurs quite often. anywho, going back to that most wonderful memory has given me what i need - comfort. and now that i am settled and that i feel okay, i am now more accurately focused on god. the worries, stresses, and anxieties that life and satan throw at me seem less important. that's why i think going back is sooooooo good for us. we know that god has been faithful since "life's first cry". why then do we get distracted? i find that memories are a gift from god. god has given them to us to further bring us joy, comfort, and rest, to get us to a point where our hearts are aligned with his, to bring us closer to him.

so as i finish the remainder of this bottle of wine (chateau ste michelle, gewurztraminer - a medium dry wine that comes NOTHING close to the white wine at the castle that many years ago) i tell you this: god is there. god has been there. you can look back and see him in every aspect of your life. see that. and move towards him.

have a really, REALLY, awesome day friends!

cheers!