the family reunion in kansas, and wow!

yesterday, i went with my family to kansas for a family reunion on my father's side. about two weeks ago, my father had asked if i wanted to go. i knew it would mean a lot to him if i attended. so i told him i would go. i was a little worried that i'd be bored or hurting from all the brokenness i'd run into there.

my family stopped at my apartment in lincoln early saturday morning. my aunt even came from omaha. we all rode in my parents' new vehicle. i brought along a crossword from wednesday's paper and figured i'd pass the time doing that. my aunt is big into crosswords and she finished the last half because i couldn't.

i was curious as to how things would turn out. my father's side of the family is stubborn, passive, non confrontational, negative, and unchurched and wanting nothing to do with church. people on that side of the family sit around and small talk mostly. there's never any meat to the conversations and nothing even remotely close to a deep thought. it was amazing to see this as a common trait amongst everyone and to think about how it's been passed along through the generations. i began to think about how i've been affected by this.

there was so little motivation for connection that i was getting pretty intimidated to initiate any. in my heart i wanted these people to connect, to know each other, and to love each other. i was deeply saddened. this is one thing i thought about before i answered my father and told him i'd go to the reunion. this was a great temptation to say no. i made myself known to some people playing basketball (we were in a community center that had a basketball court). there was dylan, an eighth grader. i believe he's barb's son and they might live in wymore. i think barb is my grandmother's sister but i really don't know for sure. there was also a little girl, i'd say about six or seven. her name was zoe (pronounced zo-ee). she was really good at basketball for her age! there were about four other kids under the age of five. i don't know their names. but i did pick one of the little boys up and i held him over my head so he could put the ball in the hoop. he was the happiest little guy then! i'd like to see the photo his mother took of it.

well, it was getting time to eat. and i hadn't breakfast that morning so i was starving. i was sitting at a table, across from my sister, looking at all the food. i knew no one was going to pray for this food or ask the lord to be with us all. this also saddened me. not because some ritual wasn't observed, but because there would be no thanks given, no exclamation of praise...no admitting to our need of a savior. i prayed inside that the food would be blessed, and that i wanted god to be present. i also prayed that i wanted people to be open to one another. and then something happened that i think is really, really, really, really awesome.

one of the most outspoken men of the family came to me AND ASKED IF I'D SAY GRACE.

whoa! i felt honored! i can't tell you all the things that were going through my mind at that moment. holy cow! god! you are awesome! the man whistled by putting his fingers in his mouth. people quieted down. it was still. i thanked god for the food and for those who had brought it and for this time to come together as a family, i asked him to be a part of this gathering, i asked for his blessing over the food and the hands that prepared it, i asked that he make our hearts open to one another, to be receptive, that we would enjoy each other and that he would be glorified. i think it was a longer prayer than what anyone was expecting "saying grace" would be. my mother immediately told me, "that was a nice prayer scottie". she then told me i should be a minister. many others came up during the remainder of the day and told me thank you for praying. i give credit to god. he gets all the glory for this. for he raised me up at an appointed time.

i'm curious how god will use this event in others' lives? i question the same for my own life? one thing that amazes me about this whole thing is god's answering to our prayers, also, his intervention. i was praying silently in my own mind not asking god specifically to make these things happen. rather, i was telling him the pains in my own heart. god then answered that prayer. EVEN THOUGH I HAD NOT ASKED HIM SPECIFICALLY FOR ANYTHING. he knows what we need. he knows what's best for us. he answers prayers we don't even pray for. he intervenes in our lives.

it is this very excitement, joy, praise, and amazement in my own heart that i wish others to know. i'm happy. i'm still in shock. and i'm outta here. gonna go dance my little heart out. cheers . . ..