some understanding

i've come to realize that i take pride in a job well done. i work hard and am deliberate about doing whatever i'm doing well. now there's nothing wrong with one taking pride in his or her work. i know this. what i've come to be aware of recently though, is that i can often be putting too much focus on doing the job well. i'll explain. sometimes when i'm doing a job, chore, task, etc i am pressured by expectations that i think others have of me, my work, or my performance. the thing i am seeing and trying to figure out, is that those expectations are all in my head. no one tells them to me. they seem to be there already. and i often feel there is a looming sense of disappointment, of me, in others. i know this pressure comes from growing up with my parents.

it is good to be seeing these kinds of things. i am thankful for this season of life because i feel it has allowed me to be more introspective and to have some really good time in thought. the understandind of what it is and where it comes from makes life so much easier.

cheers!